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November is National Adoption Awareness Month: A Time of Celebration and Reflection

Every year people across the United States celebrate November as National Adoption Awareness Month. Beginning in 1990, National Adoption Awareness Month was founded primarily to call attention to the need for families for hundreds of thousands of children waiting for homes in the U.S. foster care system.

Statistics show that 6 in every 10 Americans are touched by adoption in some way. These statistics easily explain why National Adoption Awareness Month has branched out to include not only foster care families but all families that have been built through adoption. November has become a month when families take time to celebrate the blessings adoption has brought into their lives.

Each of these families has a unique day in which celebrating adoption is most important for them. For some it is the child’s birthday, for others it might be the day they call Gotcha Day and yet for others it might be the day of finalization or the day they first saw a picture of their child-to-be. No matter how or when adoption is celebrated within each individual family, it is a common thread that joins us all together. No matter what unique meaning adoption holds for each one of us, let us remember to reflect outwardly as well this November.

In the same spirit as Thanksgiving, when you reflect on how adoption has touched your own life this November, also remember those that share the common thread with you. Remember the children in the foster care system who have been or are waiting to be adopted. Remember the children in orphanages overseas who are awaiting their forever family and also those whose special needs might be an obstacle for their adoption. Remember the adoptive families who are in process and waiting for the moments of their adoption journey to be created. Remember the social workers that gave up time with their family to spend time at the hospital with excited adoptive parents or overwhelmed birthparents. Remember the pregnant woman whose loving choice helped to build a family through adoption.

Each adoption journey is unique but a common thread connects each story to many others. It is this common thread that we are celebrating this November. Share your adoption stories with others and help to shed a light on the millions of children in need of homes across the world and here in the United States.

Together we can make a difference!

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Congressional Angel in Adoption Award

Adoptions From The Heart is pleased to announce that one of our own, Michaelina Bendig was honored for her dedication to improving the lives of children through adoption by being named a 2007 Congressional Angel in Adoption TM.

A former elementary school teacher, Bendig is the mother of three adopted teenage daughters (one internationally, two domestically through an open adoption). Having seen the strengths and weaknesses of the adoption process based on her own personal experiences, Bendig became an adoption professional in order to help prospective adoptive parents understand all the options available to them and avoid her mistakes.

Michaelina has been working with Adoptions From The Heart for over 9 years.

"Michaelina's genuine passion for children and families, and her absolute commitment to improving the field of adoption make her truly deserving of the Congressional 2007 Angel in Adoption ™ honor," said Maxine Chalker, Founder and Executive Director of Adoptions From The Heart.

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Creative Ways To Celebrate A Child's Adoption Journey

Your child has a unique story, a very special story that is different and exceptional. How do you capture that story? How can you celebrate your child's adoption story?

Portraits and Murals Celebrating Your Child’s Adoption Journey

Imagine a colorful mural covering the wall of your child's bedroom, igniting their imagination as they lay in bed at night to dream. Imagine a beautiful portrait of your son or daughter. Even better, imagine it's a piece of art telling the story of your child's heritage!

Full-time artist, Wendy Wolf, who has 17 murals in her Allentown, PA house, was able to creatively document two AFTH families' adoption journeys through artwork.

A 20" x 24" portrait of Hope, who was adopted through AFTH from China by the Gress family, was to be a Father's Day gift to Deb Gress's husband. Wendy met with Deb, as she does with all her clients, to talk about how Deb envisioned the portrait.

"I love listening to people's stories," said Wolf. "You can't read about this stuff anywhere. It's so personal and special."

Everything on the portrait, Gress describes, represents something from China, including a panda bear, a dragon, and the Great Wall of China, but the way Wolf portrayed Hope was the most important.

"I make sure they are delighted with the artwork," Wolf said, "I want them to have input, only they know the way their child smiles. I do the artwork, I paint it, but I need their personal touch."

For her heritage-honoring art work, Wolf works off pictures provided by her clients and also incorporates a lot of research.
For the Schell family however, they could not provide Wolf with a picture of their daughter because they are waiting for her adoption to be finalized from Vietnam. Wolf still successfully managed to create a 4.5’ by 6’ mural on the wall of their soon-to-be daughter's bedroom, representing both her Vietnamese culture and elements of the family she will be brought into.

By doing research from travel books and having conversations with Schells, Wolf was able to create a movable mural which depicts a girl dressed as a ballerina facing the other way - since they have not yet met their daughter and do not know what she looks like. The mural also includes subtle details about the Schells, such as the grandmother's name, and the father's pretzel business. A lotus flowers sits in a crib toward the bottom of the mural, representingthe daughter they are anxiously awaiting.

The Schells describe their experience with Wolf as a creative way to pass time and learn about Vietnam and it's culture.

For Wolf’s contact information and to see her portrait of Hope and the Schell Family's mural in color, in addition to other artwork, please visit www.wendylwolf.com.

Scrapbooking Made Easy

Scrapbooking is a great way to put all of the memories, pictures, special letters, awards and other memorabilia into one place- a place that you can reference at any time when you want to reminisce. Many of us like the idea of scrapbooking but have trouble finding the time to complete this creative task. You may even have unused scrapbooking materials sitting around your house. So what can you do?

Kathy Fajerman, a Creative Memories Senior Consultant, offer several time saving tips to help make your scrapbook vision a reality.

"It's all about keeping it simple," Kathy says. She recommends putting between 5-7 pictures on each page. Her website will help keep you motivated as it offers many tips and suggestions and even has an idea book to get you started.

If you have digital pictures, making a scrapbook is as simple as using a mouse with the Creative Memories Digital StoryBook. The Digital StoryBook is an electronic scrapbook that allows you to simply drag and drop your photos into the pages of the scrapbook design. This new way of creating scrapbooks is rapidly growing in popularity. The software is free, and it comes with templates to choose from and tons of decorations to incorporate. You design the album you want and when you are completely satisfied with your scrapbook you can have it professionally printed and bound.

Creative Memories offers supplies such as stickers, decorative paper, cropping tools, writing utensils, and other creative materials for all your memory-preserving projects.

For more tips and suggestions about scrapbooking or to begin celebrating your child’s adoption journey with the Creative Memories Digital StoryBook. visit www.creativememories.com for more details. And to contact Kathy, visit: www.mycmsite.com/kathyfajerman

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Legislation

North Carolina - On July 31, the state legislature passed the 2007 Appropriations Act, which allocates nearly $4.5 million in the next two years to pay the costs of post-secondary education for foster youths aging out of care and special needs children adopted from foster care after age 12 who attend public institutions of higher education in the state. The State Department of Human Services will work with the state Education Assistance Authority to distribute the funds from the child welfare post-secondary support program directly to colleges, rather than using tuition waivers as in other states.

Illinois - Gov.Rod Blagojevich signed legislation (HB4) into law (Public Act 095-0279) on Aug. 17 guaranteeing that adopted children receive the same benefits as biological children when a parent dies, including survivor benefits from public pension plans. The legislation amends 15 pension codes for several categories of public sector positions (judges, General Assembly members, firefighters and police) that had previously denied benefits for adopted children if the parent was older than 50 when the adoption took place or if the parent died within a certain time after the adoption. The law goes into effect Jan. 1, 2008

Massachusetts - On September 17, 2007, Governor Deval Patrick signed a bill allowing wider access to adoption records, a measure that lawmakers had sought for a decade. Under the new law, adopted adults 18 years of age or older, born in the state on or before July 17, 1974, or on or after Jan. 1, 2008, are granted access to their original birth certificates without a court order. The new law (Chapter 109 of the Acts of 2007) also permits adoptive parents of an adopted minor or the child of a deceased adopted person to access the same records. It also establishes a voluntary adoption contact information registry for birth-parents and adopted people in which participants can update contact and other information. The law will come into effect on Dec. 3, 2007.

Oklahoma - On Aug. 3, the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rejected the Oklahoma Department of Health's challenge to a lower court's decision, thereby, overturning a 2004 law prohibiting the recognition of adoptions by same-sex couples finalized in other states or foreign countries, by refusing Oklahoma birth certificates to children adopted by out-of-state same-sex couples.

PAID LEAVE FOR BIRTH OR ADOPTION - Senators Christopher Dodd and Ted Stevens have introduced measures to provide paid family leave for birth or adoption. Sen. Dodd's bill (S1681), introduced in June, would apply to both public and private sector employees and would permit eight weeks of paid leave to women and men after the birth or adoption of a child; for care of a critically ill child, spouse or parent; or for personal recovery from a serious illness. Sen. Stevens provision (S80), introduced in January and being considered in committee, would provide federal employees with eight weeks of paid leave for the birth of a child and would require a minimum of one week of paid leave for fathers and adoptive parents.

EDUCATION LAW AIDS FOSTER TEENS & CHILD WELFARE WORKERS - On September 27, 2007, President Bush signed the College Cost Reduction and Access Act into law (Public Law 110-84). The new law will help adopted foster care youth receive college financial aid and will provide loan forgiveness to child welfare workers. The law includes the "Fostering Adoption to Further Student Achievement Act" amendment, which changes the federal definition of "independent student" to include foster care youth adopted after age 13; students' financial aid eligibility will be based solely on their ability to pay, regardless of adoptive parent’s income. Currently, teens who "age out" of the system can qualify for virtually all loans and grants, but since family income is included in determining eligibility for those who have been adopted, adopted teens have not qualified to receive the same loans and grants in the past. In addition, the new law will forgive loans for public or private child welfare workers who receive a degree in social work or a related field.

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Where in the World is Kazakhstan?

Can you locate Kazakhstan on a map of the world? Few people can. Last November, the movie Borat brought Kazakhstan into the media but many people still know very little about the country.

Kazakhstan is among the seven international programs that Adoptions From The Heart offers in addition to the domestic program.

Kazakhstan is located in Eastern Europe bordering China, due south of Russia, and east of the Caspian Sea. Kazakhstan is a bilingual country with Kazakh as the “state” language and Russian as the “official” language.

The people of Kazakhstan are made up of many different ethnicities: Kazakh (56%), Russian (29%), Ukrainian (4%) and the remaining 11% is Uzbeck, German, and other ethnicities.

Music: An International Language

Over the summer, AFTH donated $2,000 to an orphanage in Astana, Kazakhstan. The donation was used toward the purchase of musical instruments for the children.

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Book Reviews

All reviewed books are available in our branch offices, online or you can order by calling Heidi Gonzalez in the Wynnewood office (610) 642-7200.

TWENTY LIFE TRANSFORMING CHOICES ADOPTEES NEED TO MAKE, Sherrie Eldridge - Based on her own experiences, Ms. Eldridge explores the adoptees experience as it relates to development and experiences with the outside world. This book is filled with enlightening and helpful information. Ms. Eldridge uses her Christian faith to lead her through her experiences. Families of different faiths may need to substitute their own beliefs in place of hers. There is a wealth of information to be found in this book regarding the adoptee experience that is laid out in a non-clinical way that makes it easy to relate to. $15.00

I HAVE ROOTS AND BRANCHES: PERSONAL REFLECTIONS ON ADOPTION (DVD) -“WINNER: 2004 Film Advisory Board AWARD OF EXCELLENCE!" This is a beautiful, touching and inspiring film about adoption. Through interviews you hear the voice of the children and birth parents. This film conveys positive adoption messages and is wonderful if you have adopted domestically or internationally. $24.00

THREE NAMES OF ME, Mary Cummings - A sensitive story of international adoption told through the eyes of a Chinese-American girl. Ada Lorane Bennett explains how she came to have several names – the first was from her birth mother and is buried deep in her heart, another she received at the orphanage, and the third came from her adoptive parents. In telling her story, readers learn about Ada's life in America, her likes and dislikes, and a few facts about her homeland. However, it is the child's present life in the States and her love for her adoptive parents that is emphasized. This book is great to start a conversation about how a child may have had a different name at birth. $12.00

Do you have a favorite book related to adoption or parenting? Let us know. Send the title of the book along with the author and a short review and we will make sure to include it in our newsletter. We can't keep track of all the books out there but we try! Please send reccommendations to heidig@afth.org Please put Book Review in the subject line.

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International Adoption Program Updates

CHINA - China continues to move slowly and our news is very limited. We want to assure our clients that we share all that we know with them about this situation. It seems, because there is so little to report about the slow movement of the program, that some think we are holding back details about the real cause. This certainly is not true and we wish we could tell our clients more. We continue to hope, along with the rest of you, that referrals will speed up. We will keep our families updated through the AFTH China Updates via e-mail. If you are not a member of this list serve please sign up according to the directions on the next page.

GUATEMALA - The agency is no longer taking applications from new families for the program and in light of the December 30, 2007, deadline for implementing Hague, we will be giving out referrals through the middle of October to ensure that these cases are registered and in process before this deadline. The US embassy is now requiring a second DNA test, just on the child, when the case comes out of PGN and before the visa appointment is issued. This process is now in place, and moving smoothly, and not really creating any delays. The American embassy is taking at least 60 days to issue pre-approvals for cases to go into PGN.

KAZAKHSTAN - Congratulations to our families who traveled over the summer. We are expecting several more families to travel in the next two months and most of them will travel within two months of submitting their dossier. Families who are working on dossiers are encouraged to get them in quickly.

We continue to ask families who have completed adoptions to complete their post-placement at least one month before the due date to avoid negatively impacting families in process. Annual reports with photographs should be sent to Terry Petrone at the Cherry Hill office one month prior to the anniversary of the adoption court date. Any questions regarding post-placement reports or the Kazakhstan program can be directed to Terry Petrone via e-mail at TerryP@afth.org or by phone at the Cherry Hill office.

UKRAINE - Ukraine is still struggling to get the adoption process back to normal. AFTH had two families travel in August, but travel for the remaining families on the waiting list has been delayed due to the lack of appropriate children cleared for international adoption. This situation is expected to be resolved over the next several weeks as children who were placed on the registry a year ago begin to clear. There are currently more than 20 families waiting to travel and many of them have been waiting well over a year. This has been a very frustrating process for everyone concerned and our in-country teams are doing their best to ensure that when these families do get appointments there will be appropriate referrals for them.

The proposed law establishing an age criteria of no more than 45 years between parent and child and eliminating adoption by singles was declared to be unconstitutional by the President of Ukraine and it is unknown at this time if another version of the law will be proposed. Families who have adopted are reminded to file their annual reports with the Ukrainian Consulate. These are due on the 1st of the month of the anniversary of the adoption. If you have questions regarding post-placement requirements or the adoption process is Ukraine, contact Terry Petrone, the Ukraine Coordinator via e-mail at TerryP@afth.org or by phone at the Cherry Hill office.

RUSSIA - Since the time of the last edition of Adoption News, 2 more Russian children were placed in the homes of AFTH families, and another AFTH family is currently in Russia completing the adoption of a child. Russia has begun re-accrediting U.S. Adoption Agencies. AFTH’s Russia Partner, Children of the World Adoption Agency, Inc. (CWAA), has submitted the required paperwork toward its re-accreditation, and is hopeful that it will receive re-accreditation in the fall. Once its re-accreditation is received, CWAA will be able to resume referring children, as young as 12-36 months of age, to AFTH families. Until that time, CWAA is able to refer children who are over the age of 36 months, and/or who have “special needs.” INDIA -We are still working with two orphanages Mahila Mandal, which is the city of Latur in Maharashtra and Matruchhaya which is in Gujarat. We have received two referrals and are expecting more in the near future. Applications are coming in steadily. Families can specify which orphanage they would like to work with.

VIETNAM - We received our physical license and red stamp from the DIA on October 16, 2007. At this time we can officially start submitting dossiers to the DIA and hope that families will be able to start traveling to Vietnam again in March 2008.

We have added photo journals to our website of the Somerset hotel, the orphanages we work with and some of the sites you will see when you travel to Vietnam. There is also a photo of our in-country staff, Mr. Binh (Representative), Mr. Bau (Assistant), Miss Phuc An (Secretary) who will be helping you throughout your stay. Mr. Binh while new to adoption has many connections in Vietnam and has been instrumental in getting our license processed quickly and has established good relationships with the orphanages we work with. We will be sending a representative from the US with the first families to assist Mr. Binh with the US side of the process and introduce him to the US officials. You will be walked through the process every step of the way, just as families have been in the past.

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Keeping in Touch With Family While Abroad

While traveling abroad wouldn’t it be great to be able to keep in touch with your family and friends without racking up outrageous phone bills? In today’s technologically advanced world it’s easy to believe that such a program exists but it’s incredible to learn that this amazing program is free!

Skype is a free program that you download on to your computer which allows you to make free calls using your computer’s microphone and speakers to other people using Skype. If your computer is equip with a webcam, Skype technology can also be used for video calls. Skype-to-Skype calls are completely free of charge.

Skype programming also offers what is called Skype-Out which allows Skype users to make calls to landlines and cell phone around the world for as little as 2.1 cents per minute and nation-wide calls for less than $3 per month.

Get this program today and keep in touch with family and friend for less. Visit www.skype.com for details.

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Musings of an Adoptive Momma

Changing Leaves, Changing Minds
By Gretchen Boger-O'Bryan

Some use the start of the new year as reason for reflection, as motivation for listing lofty resolutions dependent on powerful will. Me? I do this long before Dick Clark begins his countdown.

Maybe it's the childhood ritual of beginning school, fresh-faced and ready for a new start, or maybe it's because November brings with it both efforts to give thanks and raise adoption awareness. Either way, as the crisp autumn air nips at my toes, I'm contemplating what I - both an adoptive mother and wife to an adoptee - can do better.

This year not only will I continue to respect these roles of adoption in my life personally - which includes a commitment to my daughter's first mother that she's needed in our lives - but I will transform everyday situations into teachable moments that matter.

When discussing our open adoption, if folks mention Maeve's first mother "taking her back," insisting on co-parenting and existing only to confuse Maeve, I will, without waffling, dispel the untruths and undo the damage of Lifetime movies.

When asked about Maeve's "real" mother "giving up" her child and whether she has "moved on," I will explain we are both real mothers, that there's nothing in her adoption choice resembling giving up on her daughter, and I will remind them that filling someone else's arms with your child isn't the same as losing a favorite stuffed toy.

I will applaud television networks and programs portraying adoption and its triad in an accurate and positive light. I will just as fervently contact those making adoption jokes or depicting birth parents as anything less than they are. When represented accurately, adoption's mystery diminishes and our children benefit.

I'll write municipalities I've long lectured in my mind, explaining that adopting a road is nothing like adopting a child. I will demonstrate not only how "sponsor" suits their needs just fine, but how their use of "adopt" makes my job of raising a healthy, well-adapted adult that much harder as I need to explain the difference between cleaning dirty roads and forever loving a child.

This Nov. 17, not only will I ensure adoption-related books are read in my daughter's daycare and our library, I will volunteer to read them myself. And then I'll encourage their use year-round, not just because a calendar dictates it.

I will make all these everyday moments really matter.

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Gretchen Boger-O'Bryan was placed with her infant daughter in July 2005 through Adoptions From The Heart. An editor in legal publishing, she also is a freelance writer and currently writes about adoption and first-time parenthood on her blog, musings: mamahood&more, at www.mamagigi.wordpress.com. You can reach her at mamagigi@comcast.net.

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